Times Like These
by GreenBinderGirl
Summary: [Kabuto centric] There are times when Kabuto feels so incredibly human that it hurts. [Warnings: erm, I dunno, but it's rather dark.]


**Times Like These**

There are some times when Kabuto doesn't feel human. He doesn't feel real. He doesn't feel as if he the life he lives is his own. He lives his life for Orochimaru, never for himself. His entire existence is to please the great and terrible Orochimaru. It's his purpose, it's his destiny.

There are other times when Kabuto feels so incredibly human that it hurts.

There are times that Kabuto feels a pang of some unexpected emotion as he's about to kill a person. In those few seconds, Kabuto could almost _hear_ the thoughts whirring in the other man's head. His entire life passing by, shortened by two precious seconds. Kabuto always looks his prey in the eyes. Many times his eyes are blank, bored. He's done this millions of times. Killing is nothing new.

Kabuto could see the fear in his prey's eyes, because they know that they're about to die.

Most of the time, Kabuto doesn't care. He doesn't give a damn. Orochimaru told him to kill these people, and so he does. Why? It's his destiny. As far as Kabuto is concerned, Orochimaru is God.

"Another successful mission, eh, Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru said as he looked upon the burning remains of a small village with satisfaction. Kabuto gently pushed the bridge of his glasses closer to his eyes. He murmured, "Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

"Let's get going, then."

"D-Do you mind, Orochimaru-sama, if I stay here a little longer…?"

Orochimaru looked at him strangely, then shrugged. "Want to retrieve some bodies for your collection?"

"Something like that."

"Don't stay too long. I will need you soon."

Kabuto bowed respectfully. "Thank you, Orochimaru-sama."

As the snake ninja disappeared, Kabuto turned to face what was left of the village. Blackened bodies lined the streets. Mothers were crouched in alleyways, clutching pale, dead babies. He began walking through the streets, occasionally glancing at the mangled, bloody bodies.

_I did this, I did this…it's my fault, all my fault…_Kabuto thought, forgetting that it wasn't his entire fault. Orochimaru had done this, too. But Kabuto would never place any blame on his beloved master.

_It was me. All me. These people…these people were innocent. Innocent. All my fault. Mine. All my fault. _

He heard breathing coming from one man lying outside of a small shop. It wasn't breathing, more like gasping—the man was coughing up blood. It spattered around his mouth and dribbled down his neck and stained his shirt. His eyes were crazed with fear, darting everywhere feverishly. Kabuto walked slowly towards him and crouched down. The man sensed his presence and turned to face him. Kabuto frowned and placed his gloved hand over the man's mouth. He started spluttering and Kabuto pressed harder. The man weakly flailed his hands and the toes on his bare feet twitched. Kabuto watched as his eyes steadily turned dull. His chest gave a final flutter and he lay still. Kabuto removed his hand and stared into the blank, grey eyes.

_He's dead._

Tears began streaming from Kabuto's own eyes. He clutched his stomach and felt as if he was going to vomit. He closed his eyes and tried to regain his composure, all the while murmuring like a secret mantra, "I'm sorry—I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I-I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry…so sorry…"

Around a half hour later, Kabuto carefully gathered the broken body up in his arms. The man, he noticed, was wearing a thin silver ring around his finger. _Married,_ Kabuto registered in his mind dimly. _Must've lived a good life._

Kabuto performed a few hand seals and disappeared. He returned in Orochimaru's lair, and made his descent to the morgue downstairs. This was where Kabuto liked to study the bodies of Orochimaru's victims.

Kabuto began stripping the man and carefully folded his clothes into separate plastic bags. He set the man on a thin metal table and pulled a thick white sheet over him. Kabuto reached out and closed the man's eyes with two elegant fingers.

"I'm sorry," Kabuto whispered, and began gathering his tools to begin the autopsy.

**Author's Notes:**

I watch CSI: Miami too much. But I love that show, and I like how Alexx always talks to the victims and strokes their hair and stuff, saying things like, "You didn't expect to get killed when you woke up this morning now, did you baby?" TT.TT

I dunno if Orochimaru's lair has a morgue, but…I made it so.

Poor Kabuto-kun…he realizes that he's only human. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I'm too tired right now to proofread it…I'm also sorry for saying "Kabuto" too much, but right now I don't feel like fixing it. Deal with my horrible grammar. Y'all can deal with my terrible stories for a year, because a year from now I may be able to obtain a scrap of decency…

(was this one-shot longer? o.o)

**edit:** added two words at the end.


End file.
